LOVE NOTES
Transforming Ordinary into Extraordinary Marriages
Winter 2006

Having Your Best Year Ever

What if this year of marriage could be your best year ever, would you want that for each other? Of course, who wouldn’t? Best years and extraordinary marriages don’t happen by chance. They require that you consciously decide to be proactive about what you want from your marriage instead of drifting along hoping things will get better? In this newsletter we give you a way to approach this next year as if you are determined to make it your best year ever.

Doing What Works

In this season of New Year’s resolutions, pause to take a backward look before going forward: how did our marriage go last year?

If your marital contract was renewed annually, you might have to behave better than presuming your spouse is stuck with you. Have you ever asked yourself, “How would I like to be married to me?” In the midst of all your complaints about your spouse, maybe you should consider the possibility that you aren’t such a prize either. Defining what it would take to create the best year ever can keep you on the track to an extraordinary marriage.

As a device to dreaming aloud about this great year, let’s examine the typical areas of a couple’s life. Our Catholic couples might consider this list to be a couple’s version of an examination of consciousness. People in a 12 step program may recognize it as a way to take inventory as a couple about your joint life. The following springboard for discussion follows an acronym, PEMMSS, the physical, emotional, mental, money, social, and spiritual aspects of your relationship.

Physical

The physical aspects of your marriage can involve your physical body including topics from health to sexuality. It could also include questions about your environment.

Emotional

You may have heard the old joke: “Some days I wake up cranky, other days I let him sleep.”

Mental

Money

Social Skills

Spritual

Your spiritual relationship can be defined by your faith life or by the deeper connection you make with each other within your value system(s).

Caution

Do not overwhelm yourselves.
You can’t do all of the above. Pick one thing and stick to it.

The above suggestions are not for couples who are currently struggling with tough times such as the death of a parent or the birth of a baby. Sometimes, the measure of a good year is that you survived it.

January is named after Janus, the god of doorways pictured with two faces, one looking backward and one looking forward. As you look forward to another year with your spouse, make it your best year ever.

Resources

Covey, Stephen. Seven Habits of Highly Effective Families.
Ditzler, Jinny S. Your Best Year Yet: A proven method for making the next twelve months the most successful ever.
Salsbury, Glenna. The Art of the Fresh Start.

Copyright 2006 Drs. Susan & Philip Robison. Feel free to copy and reproduce as long as you print with contact information:

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